ReeAllity BiteS (Usualy GooSe)

Santa GooSe,

PleeSe see prEvious posT with Xmas list Reqwests. This what goosE get. 1 Kan of salTee chums??? Dat it? I think Neighbur Cat git dis thing like everee DAY! u tryIng to punish GooSe for his BloG? u edit Da media Like da WalMart, Santa?!!! you Crazee FascIshist?.....

ok. lets Stop before we both Say tings we can'T un-hoNk. GooSe settLE for PreviouSly tiTled LiSt in Last blog As deliVered by PhoeBee from "CharMed". (shE not bird, but maN she honKee, and she Got riGht Name tooo!)

SaNta GooSey:

SanTa GoosEy,

LeavE a chuM under da Tree
for me,
I'll Cover daddie with pee,
for thee
no one is now Laughing at me!

GoosE write SanTa GoosE great song, and Now my Honksmas List:

1. Lobstah Roll
2. sushi chumS (vareous flavours)
3. SwediSh Chum (chEwy kind)
4. Lottery tix
5. LLC to shiled my extra curriculurs
6. Sir David AttenBoroughs "Birds" on DVD colleckshun
7. DunKin' DonuTs franChise
8. New under Pants for Daddie (dey smell)
9. fresh Salmon Fillets
10. pick up a Leetle somethin nice fer u.

HonKs n KissES,
GooSe

HonKerween HangOver

Ok. GooSe throW leetle honkerween bash in hiS pond. Goose Gotta wakes up and finds dis? Get a Nest u two! dis not mammal house! 

Photo Kourtsee Nancy Kuehn

AnGry BiRds!: GullS

Little knOwn FacT: GullS R angree!!! I know. Da HumanS thInk it all Like MajestiK JonaThan Seagull and thEy like AngeLs that Poop chuM. But in real Burd world GullS kinda majoR A-HoLES!

You PeoPlEs like: hey, look at tHis Guy. He hanDsome and look At himSelf in window. 

In Burd REAL world he like "you opeN this Damn Chum JOint or Gull gonna.....*&^$%@*(#!!!!!! your muther and then #@@*#&$!!! your human babEE with what's left of your #$%#$#!!!! (Goose pretty surE they don'T have buttoN for the dirty Chum Bucket that coMe out his bill!) He surE ain'T no Singin' DisneY Burd and He Ain't heLp no Bunny mammals in "Watership Down." maybe more like he beaT those BunnieS and it like "Watership Down Syndrome bunnies."

ChUM 'O Da WeEK (On a STIck!)

OK. GoOse not quiTe sure why buT Daddie decide live in mosT Bird-FoRsaken state called HonkerSodta or Minnesucks or sum such nonsenSe. I iNvite my frienDs to come visiT dis Summer. Dis Pikshur frum July... LaKe still FRoZEN!!!!

Ok. Need Less to Say. GoosE hate Dis PlaCe and Only DaddiE and Margo wouLd want to Live here. but There 2 weeks wheN gooSe thInk he don't waNt to Die here: it StATE FAIR!!!!! Dis GrEATEST BUFFET on EARTH! GoosE eat fried Pickle, cheeSe kurd, sPaM kurd, deep-fry SnickerS bar, (den Goose throw up) den goosE have AlliGator on Stick. (he tasTe like kalamari!)

Of couRse DaddiE ruin it and find GIANTNORMOUS RAT! ugh! Daddie want pickshur. I thinK fair need more RAt poisen!!! (hey, DadDie, u Like Photo BomB gooSe leavE on youR shirt?! HONK HONK HONK!!!!)

BuT Margo step in And save Day. Buy Goose CHum 'O' Da Week! It Deep-fried Chum on A Stick!!!!

HoW u prePare?: HonK until u MaKe MarGo buY it!

How u EatS?: on SticK, but it HOT! u burN bilL if u eaTs to fast!

PAssAge?: GooSe Lets u know when dat haPpens.

HEy liTTle gurl? FraNce got Fancie chums like dis One??! probably not! HONK HONK HONK!